100 Ways to Keep Your Lover

Our price:	$9.99
Media:	Digital
Author:	Al Link, Pala Copeland
Publisher:	Universal Publishers
Release date:

Average user rating: Average user rating: 4

A catalog with a heart

Lack of fulfillment in a relationship is felt in all ways, but perhaps in sexuality first and foremost. Many people come to Tantra looking for ways to spice up a love life that has lost flavour or even gone sour. For those partnerships which only need the chance to "consider the possibilities", 100 Ways to Keep Your Lover is a pretty comprehensive illustrated catalogue, covering topics from massage to meals to masochism. While what pleases or turns off is bound to differ from couple to couple, there is enough here to to suggest, visually and in writing, multiple answers to the question, "What turns you on?"

I am grateful for a good many of the 100 ideas and suggestions. Having them in a list helps me to remember I want to propose them to my lover. On the other hand, I know she would feel pressured and turned off if I gave her the document itself: the explicit photos, some of the suggestions and the sheer volume of them would trigger uncomfortable feelings. Instead I can keep in mind a few I know we would both feel OK with, and suggest them when the time is right ( as if they were my own! ). I especially like number 41, with its great pictures. "Catch a rainbow. Watch the sun ... go down. Sleep out under the stars." Another idea in particular touched a chord for me, and I mean to share it with my lover if the opportunity arises:

53. Tantric lovers: many women believe men are happier the more frequently they can have intercourse. ... What men truly enjoy is being aroused by their partner and remaining in the aroused state for a long period of time.

The ebook format allows the added touch of hot links (some of them pretty hot, all right), so no need to go to Google or the Yellow Pages to find suppliers of pheromones or fancy lingerie--just click. My previous experience of link stability has been disappointing, so the authors deserve credit for taking that on. Many of the sex aids are available from the authors' own 4Freedoms site, so keeping those links working is actually under their control, and they address the challenge of general link mortality by offering a year of updates with the purchase price.

Chances are that to improve sex, a relationship needs to evolve on more levels than just the sexual. It is even likely that what a couple's sex life really needs is deeper communication, opening up on taboo subjects, and actual personal growth. The possibility can be scary and many of us try to avoid it as long as we can. Yet open-heart "surgery"--individual or relationship therapy--may even be the best choice. 100 Ways leaves a door open to personal growth, if you can see the need to go through it. Some of the items leading to this door include

34. Quiet your thinking ... pay attention to sensory information
57. Let go of control. Cry... Lovemaking is best when there is no goal
58. Laugh
81. Prolong the orgasmic energy
85. Talk where one only listens

and finally, the excellent appendix on Heart Talk.

For me this is the essence of Tantra. Open-hearted, goal-less communication can lead lovers to discover and share who they really are. I believe this is the way to joy and even ecstasy. As long as it is present in a work claiming to be comprehensive, I think you can indeed say there is something in it for everyone.

As a side note, I want to say I am disappointed with the Amazon review system. It requires me to give this work a star rating or it will not accept my review. I do not believe such numeric ratings are meaningful; however I will not just say the heck with it and give 100 per cent or zero.

I suggest that interested persons read the review, use it to judge whether the work is for them, and ignore the star rating. I suggest that Amazon consider adding an "unrated" category to their numeric star options.